Here comes the S.S. Peanut Butter
The Navy is going to christen the newest Seawolf class submarine, U.S.S. Jimmy Carter (SSN-23), this Saturday, according to this Navy Newsstand article.
According to sources, the sub will run on peanut oil and can only fill up on odd or even days, in accordance with the former president's energy policy. Also, sailors will be encouraged to turn down thermostats and wear sweaters while on board. If engaged by the enemy, the sub will wallow and drift erratically, deferring to the U.S.S. Ronald Reagan to clean up the situation. An accompanying ship, the U.S.S. Walter Mondale, will drift behind the Carter, later challenging the Reagan before drifting away into obscurity and irrelevance.
HT to Glenn Beck and Sean Hannity for the inspiration for this post.
According to sources, the sub will run on peanut oil and can only fill up on odd or even days, in accordance with the former president's energy policy. Also, sailors will be encouraged to turn down thermostats and wear sweaters while on board. If engaged by the enemy, the sub will wallow and drift erratically, deferring to the U.S.S. Ronald Reagan to clean up the situation. An accompanying ship, the U.S.S. Walter Mondale, will drift behind the Carter, later challenging the Reagan before drifting away into obscurity and irrelevance.
HT to Glenn Beck and Sean Hannity for the inspiration for this post.
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